HOWARD STERN SHOW FULL 1-22-2008 + FULL WRAP UP Show 64K MP3 CF
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HOWARD STERN SHOW FULL 1-22-2008 + FULL WRAP UP Show 64K MP3 CF
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Martin Luther King Day Discussions. 01/22/08. 6:00am
Jackie On Fire With Gary Braces Jokes. 01/22/08. 6:05am
Tom Chiusano Leaving K-Rock. 01/22/08. 6:10am
Giants / Packers Game And More MLK Day Discussions. 01/22/08. 6:20am
Howard Says Rachel Bilson = Hottest Chick In Hollywood. 01/22/08. 6:35am
Eric The Midget Song Writer(?) Calls In. 01/22/08. 6:35am
Predictions About Gary's Braces. 01/22/08. 7:00am
Howard's Birthday Dinner With Artie, Robin And Jim Florentine. 01/22/08. 7:15am
Danny Bonaduce Calls In. 01/22/08. 7:30am
Philly Morning Man Chris Booker Calls In. 01/22/08. 8:05am
More Howard's Birthday Dinner Discussions. 01/22/08. 8:15am
Bobby Fischer Discussions. 01/22/08. 8:20am
Gary Reveals His Decision On Braces. 01/22/08. 8:35am
No Vegas Shows Coming Soon. 01/22/08. 8:40am
Author Mark Rudolph Talks About David Spade And Jillian Grace. 01/22/08. 8:45am
Nick Wants To Be Robin's Backup Boyfriend. 01/22/08. 9:00am
Is Ivy Trying To Get Benjy Killed? 01/22/08. 9:35am
A Fan Buys Howard's Parents Dinner At A Diner. 01/22/08. 9:50am
Howard 100 News And Wrap Up Show Previews. 01/22/08. 9:55am
Artie's 7 Double Cheeseburger Weekend. 01/22/08. 10:05am
Robin's News. 01/22/08. 10:10am
Wrap Up Show - Howard's Birthday Dinner. 01/22/08. 11:05am
Wrap Up Show - Tom Brady, Stuttering John, And Fred Discussions. 01/22/08. 11:15am
Wrap Up Show - Gary's Braces, Fred On Jackie And More. 01/22/08. 11:40am
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Tuesday, January 22, 2008
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Martin Luther King Day Discussions. 01/22/08. 6:00am
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Show opening bits and songs included: An ''Ask the Retards - Really Big Penis'' bit with Wendy and Gary the Retards, James Taylor performing a cover of ''Woodstock'' live in Howard's K-Rock studio.
Howard started off the show talking about how they were back after their day off yesterday. He talked about what he did over the weekend after trying to figure out how old Martin Luther King would have been if he had lived. He died at 39 according to Robin. Artie figured he'd be 68 or 69 or so. Howard said that he should be celebrated and saw that they're putting up a monument for him in Washington DC. They have a Chinese guy designing the statue and a lot of black people are upset about that from what he's read.
Robin said that if people are upset about it they should do whatever it takes to make their own and have the statue erected somewhere else. Howard said it's not that easy to do that though. Howard went on to talk about that controversy and joked that the eyes are slanted which he found odd.
Howard said that he was going to get to how he celebrated the day but Robin kept asking him how he celebrated it. He had a lot of time to kill so that's why he was taking so long.
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Jackie On Fire With Gary Braces Jokes. 01/22/08. 6:05am
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Howard said that Jackie Martling called him and told him he wanted to go out to dinner. He said Jackie left him a message and told him how the comedy gods just handed him a bunch of jokes by having Gary talking about getting braces. Howard did his impression of Jackie leaving the message and goofing around with that.
Gary said ''fuck him'' and spent a couple of minutes complaining about the way Jackie used to goof on him. He said Jackie was relentless with that stuff in the past and he'd never leave it alone, even when they were off the air. He said that everyone else there drops all of that stuff when they're not on the air.
Howard said that Jackie was also complaining about the way Fred has been treating him lately and he doesn't know what he did wrong to him. He said he has no idea what he did to make him hate him. Fred said that he thinks that Jackie is an annoying pain in the ass and he doesn't get that he's a flawed individual and there are things that he does that annoy him.
Fred told the guys about a story he heard from a Poland Spring delivery guy who had to haul one of those huge bottles of water up into Jackie's attic, which is only accessible by a ladder. He said that the guy was really upset about that. He said that Jackie got that up there and Jackie gives him one of his video tapes as gratuity. No cash, one of Jackie's tapes. Howard said that Jackie thought that the attic was another bedroom and he'd keep stuff stored up there and that was how they got their view of the water out there.
Artie said that he thought that Fred and Jackie were getting along the day that they did the roast together. Fred said that he was having a good time but there were some things that Jackie said that rubbed him the wrong way. He said that there was some stuff he said about Benjy that annoyed him and stuff about him too. He said that Jackie came out of the box asking why Fred hates him and he hadn't even done anything on the show to bring that out. Howard cut Fred off and told him that he used up his allotment of talk on the show today.
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Tom Chiusano Leaving K-Rock. 01/22/08. 6:10am
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He got back to Gary a short time later. Gary said that he was in to talk about what went on over at the Imus show yesterday. They had the whole Martin Luther King ''I have a dream'' speech on his show. Not just once, but twice. They even showed the video on his TV show while it was playing. That led to the guys talking about Imus' show and how he isn't getting any sponsors at this time and that they have a bunch of public service announcements instead.
Howard said that Tom Chiusano has left their old station, K-Rock, and it seems that he's actually being pushed out of the place. Howard said he's not his spokesman but it sounds like they may have been cutting costs over there and Tom was one of the budget cuts.
Howard said he read that they're not making a lot of money over there since he left. He said he now realized how underpaid he was working there too. He said that there are rumors floating around about the station flipping formats to country soon too. He said that they pull a 1 share with the rock format so that makes sense to him. He said that country is more mainstream than it ever has been and there are no country stations in the city now. Robin thought there was one there but Howard thought that they were all gone.
Howard said that they could make some good money with a country format. He's not sure that they're going to be doing that but it wouldn't surprise him if they did that because they have to make money.
Howard said that he was very fond of Tom Chiusano and he doesn't know how the company is going to handle that station without him. He figures that they're going to have a guy covering a group of stations instead.
Robin said that she spoke to Tom and he wasn't ready to retire yet. She said that it was going to be an issue for his wife because he's going to be home all the time and she's not ready for that. Artie said he read a story about Tom possibly coming there. The guys said that was just a rumor though.
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Giants / Packers Game And More MLK Day Discussions. 01/22/08. 6:20am
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Howard said that he got to stay up on Sunday night to watch that Giants - Packers game since he didn't have to work on Monday morning. He said that the game was great. He also said that he talked to his parents about the game and his mother was talking about how they're barbarians and she can't believe that he watches that stuff. He said that she refuses to believe that he could possibly like to watch something like that. He said she didn't try to get him away from barbaric violence when he was a kid though.
Howard said that the death of Martin Luther King was a very big deal to him when he was growing up. He said that he was in school when he was killed and it was scary for him to go into school because he was in a black school.
Howard talked about his mother telling him stories about the old days and how she would ride the subway alone and things like that. Now she locks herself in her house and rarely leaves. She wasn't afraid to send her son to school after King was killed either. She wasn't afraid but Howard was.
Howard said that he didn't spend any time reflecting on King yesterday. Robin said that she's pretty sure that not too many people do. Howard went on to talk about the Giants game and how great that was. Robin was saying that she thinks that they're going to get killed in the big game. Artie said that he bet them in that game and he's up by about a thousand bucks.
Artie went off on Tom Brady for coming to New York and hanging out with his girlfriend there. He said that he should be up in Boston instead. Howard was saying that they saw Brady with a big boot on his foot and there are stories about him possibly being injured but Howard is thinking that maybe it's just a psychological thing and they're faking the injury to fool everyone. Artie said that the Giants coaching staff would be retarded not to play it as if he were 100 percent.
Howard said that they usually try to hide injuries and these pictures clearly show that he's injured. They talked about how strange that was. Howard asked Artie if he's going to bet the Giants again or not. Artie said he has to talk to some Giants fans to figure that out. He's not sure at this time but he's pretty sure he has to go with them.
Howard said that he's been a fan of theirs since college so he has to back them up in the big game. They talked about the game a little bit and some of the stuff that was going on during that. Howard and Artie talked about how they thought that they were going to lose after missing the one field goal.
Howard said that Artie must put some really big money on the game. He said that he's got to be a bigger fan than even he is because he puts his money where his mouth is. He said that Artie deserves a ring if they win the big game.
Howard said that he was watching the game and heard that the Giants' bench wasn't heated while the Packers was and it really pissed him off when he heard that.
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Howard Says Rachel Bilson = Hottest Chick In Hollywood. 01/22/08. 6:30am
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Howard said that he's now realized who the hottest chick in Hollywood is. He said that he was going to make the big announcement and the papers could quote him if they want. He said that it's Rachel Bilson. He said that she was on ''The OC'' for a while and now she's on the cover of GQ magazine and does a layout in there. He said that she's so smokin hot.
Artie agreed with Howard and said she is hot. Fred said she is too. Robin wasn't so sure about that though. Artie went on to talk about doing a gig out at a club in Syracuse, New York and they had this really hot chick helping them out up there. He said that she was so hot and she reminded him of this Rachel Bilson chick. He said he actually jerked off to her that night that he was up there. He said he tried Eric the Midget's ''fuck the bed'' method and he really liked it. He said he was rubbing his pillow and kissing it and it was great. He said he had to thank Eric for that idea.
Artie said that he's tried that before at other hotels and it really works well. Howard asked him if he blew his load on the pillow. Artie said he does finish in the sheets. He said he made sure that the maids were Mexican because he doesn't care when they are. He said he may not jerk off to that chick ever again but she was so hot that he had to do it to her that night. Artie said that he wanted to get that chick's number but she turned out to be engaged.
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Eric The Midget Song Writer(?) Calls In. 01/22/08. 6:35am
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Howard went to Eric the Midget http://www.jfsc.tv/ who was on the phone. He wanted to talk to him about this girlfriend of his. He said that they talked to this girlfriend, Kendra, who claims not to be into porn and stuff. He was going to get into that but Artie was telling him how good his method of jerking off was.
Howard told Eric that his ''girlfriend'' was out at a strip club over the weekend. They had a picture of a billboard where they were telling people to come out and meet her before he does. Howard told Eric about what was going on with that.
Will came in and said that he didn't want to be a big buzz kill but she wasn't actually at the club, the owner did it as a goof. He's apparently a big fan of the show and that's why he did it. Gary said that the ad in the paper that they got showed that she is a dancer though.
Howard asked Eric if she's a dancer or not. Eric said that she has mentioned it to him. He said that he wanted to clarify something. He said that she only takes her top off and she has pasties on when she takes her top off. He wasn't sure if she gave lap dances or not though.
Howard asked Eric what he wanted to be called now since there was some confusion the other day. He played a bunch of those edited clips that they've been creating lately. He had a bunch of new ones like Eric the...
complaining midget
completely unfunny midget
defensive midget
gay midget
dumbass midget
major cock
loudmouth midget
obnoxious midget
pathetic lame ass gay jackass
pathetic midget
retarded midget
ridiculous midget
rude and obnoxious annoying midget
screwed up midget
gay midget
chicken shit midget
Eric was getting pissed off with the goofing around and told Howard to stop playing that stuff over him. Howard kept doing it though. Howard said he'd stop and kept asking Eric to say the name and he'd play a new clip each time. Eric said that he has people saying that he should be called Eric the Song writer because he and a friend are writing some songs for Kendra that she won't be singing, they're just songs in her honor. He said that one of them is called ''Our Two Hearts Will Prove Them Wrong'' and the ''them'' is Howard and Robin. Howard said he didn't know that Eric had two hearts. Eric said that's not what he has. He was talking about his and Kendra's hearts.
Howard asked Eric for more suggestions for what he'd like to be called and Artie threw in ''Eric the Bed Fucker'' since he was talking about that a little earlier. He also talked about how he broke the bed one time when he was banging Dana.
Howard asked Eric when he's going to sing this song he's writing. He said he might do it by Thursday. He didn't want to sing or give them any lyrics this morning. He said that he wanted to save them until Thursday. Eric said that he and his friend Brandon are writing it together.
Howard played a few more clips of Eric's new names and went on to say that Eric is going to be doing his American Idol commentary show again tonight with his co-host Gina. Eric said that they worked out some technical problems and they should sound better this week. Howard asked Eric what his co-host is going to call him and played ''Eric the Major Cock.'' That got some laughs out of Artie and Robin. Artie asked Eric if he prepares for being really bad on that show by doing something else he sucks at. Eric just goofed on Artie and threw in some fat jokes about him.
Howard played some clips from last week's Eric the Actor American Idol show that he did on his web cam. Eric was talking about the show end coming up and how he didn't get why they were doing what they were doing with the one Asian guy. Howard said that it really sounds like the lunar landing audio with Eric and Gina talking to each other.
Howard goofed on the clips for a few seconds, gave Eric some more plugs and played some more of the clips of him saying ''Eric the...'' Robin asked Eric how many times he talked to his girlfriend over the weekend. Eric said it was a few times.
Howard said that the special surprise he was working on for Eric didn't work out. He was trying to get him on the red carpet at the Rambo premiere but it didn't work out. Eric said that would have been cool but Artie told him that they have a strict ''no asshole'' rule. Artie said he had some other names for Eric and said that he could be called ''Eric the dye haired midget who thinks he has a girlfriend.'' Eric insists that he has a girlfriend, they just haven't met in person yet. Howard asked when they're going to meet and Eric said that it should be soon.
Howard played some more ''Eric the...'' clips and replayed a few that he had played earlier. Eric said that his girlfriend calls him sweetie, sweetheart and honey. Eric said that he calls her angel and beautiful among other things. The guys spent a couple of minutes talking to him about that before Howard had to let him go. Howard wished him luck with his show on JFSC.tv that will be live during the west coast feed of American Idol. Gary said that he's still working on getting Kendra on the show too.
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Predictions About Gary's Braces. 01/22/08. 7:00am
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He hasn't given up on that and he thinks that he will win against ''the midget.'' Howard took a call from a guy who wanted to know if Gary is going to get braces or not. Howard said that he had to take a break but they'd talk to Gary about that after the break.
Howard said he got an e-mail from someone who thinks that Gary is doing this for attention. Howard said he doesn't think that Gary will get braces. Howard, Robin and Artie all said they predict that he won't be getting them. Benjy said he thinks that he'll have something done but not braces. Fred wasn't sure about what he'll do.
The caller was also complaining about Gary wearing the same jacket every day for the past 2 years. Gary came in to defend himself saying that he just wears it to keep him warm at work. The caller said that it must be smelly but Gary gave him a big ''fuck you'' and said he doesn't know him and he doesn't know that it stinks.
The guys talked about how crazy some of the people on the show were going to get if Gary actually went through wit this whole thing. Sal was in Gary's office, as they spoke, doing his impression of Gary doing his stuff with some balls of aluminum foil on his Gary mask. Howard said that they're going to have to have Jackie come in one day if Gary does go through with this. Artie said that he'd take the month off so Jackie could replace him for that time. Howard said he's not giving him a month off, he should be taking the month off himself.
Gary asked if anyone is buying into the whole thing about how he's doing this just for attention. The guys seemed to think that it could be a possibility. The caller said that Gary loves hearing his own voice on the Wrap Up Show so he wouldn't be surprised. Gary said that's his job though, he's supposed to talk on that show. Howard had to go to break a short time later.
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Howard's Birthday Dinner With Artie, Robin And Jim Florentine. 01/22/08. 7:15am
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After the break we heard a prank call that Sal and Richard made as the Gammoreon Guard (muffling their voices). Howard came back a short time later as Fred was playing some Allman Brothers ''Statesboro Blues.'' Howard said they were having a good time this morning with the jokes and the Allman Brothers music. He threw in the Tim Sabean ''Woooo HOOOOO!'' audio clip as well. He said he thinks that's from when they went to number 1 in Philly.
Howard said they were going to get to Gary and his braces and also talk to Danny Bonaduce and talk about David Spade. He said that he and David did talk via e-mail and they have made plans to speak on the phone. He didn't elaborate on what they talked about. He said he does have someone calling in about that who says he thinks that Spade is being railroaded though.
Howard said that Robin took him out to dinner for his birthday over the weekend. She didn't make a big deal out of the whole thing though, she kept it small and only Artie as invited. Artie said he found that kind of odd. Robin said that she and Jim made the plans and Jim was the one who suggested calling Artie to come along. Fred found that kind of weird too and he said that it's obvious that Jim must not like him.
Howard said that he was having a good time out at dinner but he had to tell Jim that he can't look at him the way he used to anymore. He said that now that he's dating Robin he's changed in his mind. Fred said he likes how the newcomer to the group can say who gets to come to dinner or not.
Howard said that Jim was a real trooper that night because all they kept getting for the meal was fish and Jim doesn't even like fish. Artie said he was waiting for Jim to do something goofy the whole night but nothing happened. He said that he's whipped now. He likes Robin so much that he won't ask the waiter to dump pepper on his plate until his food is completely covered anymore.
Howard said that Robin's vagina is an amazing finishing school. She's managed to refine Jim Florentine into this new man. He said that if that's not love, he doesn't know what is. She's turned Jim's life around. Fred did his impression of Jim a little bit and had some fun goofing around with that for a short time.
Howard said that Artie brought him a bottle of champagne for his birthday. He asked Robin if Jim was wearing jeans out to dinner that night. She said he was and Howard wondered what was up with that. He didn't think that he was dressed correctly for that restaurant. Robin said that he is a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy. She didn't know what he was going to wear to dinner although he did wear something similar another time they went to the same place.
Howard said that he was appropriately dressed. Artie wasn't according to Robin. She said that he shouldn't be carrying on about him when he wears what he wears. Howard said that Artie could have worn a nicer outfit. Robin said he could have shaved too. Howard said that he's surprised that they let them into the restaurant at all. He said that he gets dressed up when he goes to a place like that even though he'd rather be wearing jeans.
Howard said that Artie was the life of the party and told a bunch of great stories while they were at dinner. He said that it was like Artie from the radio show and the kind of guy he expects to see when he goes out with him. Artie said that he had a lot of fun that night and they had a lot of laughs together.
Howard thanked Robin for the dinner and said that it was great hanging out with Jim too. Robin thought that Fred was being silent because he was upset about not being invited. Fred did a little more of his Jim impression before Howard had to move on.
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Danny Bonaduce Calls In. 01/22/08. 7:30am
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Howard said that he had Danny Bonaduce on the phone. He had a bunch of stuff to talk to him about. He wanted to talk about him dating a 25 year old now that he's divorced. He said he also wanted to talk to him about the picture of him he has where he's naked on stage at some event with his small penis hanging out. He said he was also on the Adam Carolla show but Adam apparently started boycotting the show until they got rid of Danny. Danny said that he thought they were just getting along fine until Adam stopped showing up and not coming into his show.
Howard said that he heard that Danny met this 25 year old girl that he's dating just a half hour after his wife asked for a divorce. Danny said that his marriage lasted almost 20 years so that was pretty amazing. He said he did marry her very quickly but it lasted.
Danny said that he got his wife a date on the radio show when he was on there. He said that he promised not to hurt anyone who dated her and even said that he'd support them and try to help them out so he could get her married.
Danny asked his girlfriend Amy to wake up so she could talk to Howard. She didn't get on right away so Howard asked Danny about this Adam Carolla thing. Danny said that Adam is a genius and he likes him but he apparently didn't like him back. He said that they gave him an hour long show of his own after they booted him off of Adam's show and he's just as happy doing that as the full show because they're paying him the same.
Danny said that he's been pretty sober for the past couple of years and last year he only had about 5 drinks. Howard asked him why he would get naked on stage and show his penis. He showed the guys the picture and the guys said that it was barely there. Howard asked him what's going on with the balls. Danny said he was at the Erotic Exotic Ball and he was told that he should go out and dance with the Chipendales dancers. He said that in the picture was going up because he was just coming up from a bow and that's why it all looks odd. He said he does admit that it's not that big though. He will be in Penthouse magazine showing that it's not as small as it appears in that picture though. He said that it's still small in those pictures, it's just not that small.
Howard asked Danny about what went on with Johnny Fairplay who had jumped on him on stage at an awards show. Danny said that he was acting in self defense and the D.A. agreed with him. Howard thought he had every right to do what he did but Fred didn't. That led to Fred talking about what he thinks Danny could have done that time. He didn't have to throw him over his head and onto the stage. Howard and Robin seemed to agree with what Danny did to get the guy off of him. Danny said that he had a guy rubbing his genitals on his chest and he didn't want him doing that so he threw him off. Danny said that Fairplay is suing him civilly and he thinks that case will be thrown out as well.
Danny said that he just did another one of these boxing matches and beat this DJ down in Philly. He said he did it for charity but now the guy wants a rematch. He said he won't do another one for charity, he wants some money to do it again. Danny won that match in a unanimous decision.
Howard said that Danny is promoting this Tahiti Village thing that a bunch of other celebrities are promoting. Danny said that they're giving away 3 days and 2 nights of a free stay out there at a hotel in Las Vegas and he'll be out there to meet and greet the fans who show up. He said he loves it and he can't wait to do it. He said that he gets to stay free out there and he gets to go to a free show. He said that you just have to call 866-70-GO-WIN
Howard asked Danny about his show ''Breaking Bonaduce'' and what's going on with that. He said that's over but he's got a new show coming out later this year that he's part of. That led to the guys talking about the show ''Celebrity Rehab'' which is really good according to everyone. Danny said he was going to do that show but he wasn't having any problems at the time. He was going to get himself back into the booze and drugs just so he could go do that show but Dr. Drew told him not to do it. The guys talked about Jeff Conoway and how much of a mess he is on that show. They all agree that Jeff is too far gone at this point to be rehabilitated.
Howard asked Danny about the Tahiti Village thing and if he gets a better deal than other people. Danny said he has no idea how much he's getting paid yet. He hasn't found that out. He just knows that he can go to Vegas and not have to pay to stay out there. That's all he cares about.
Howard took some phone calls and the first woman was asking Danny about some stuff that Howard didn't seem to get so he quickly moved on. One guy said that he was a cop and if he showed up that day when Danny threw Johnny Fairplay over his head, he doesn't think that things would have gone down the same way. Danny thinks that he's an idiot to sue and it's going to cost him a fortune. The caller said that the winner usually gets locked.
Robin asked Danny if he's glad that his marriage has ended. Danny said that his girlfriend is very inexperienced so he's got her doing all kinds of weird stuff. He said they have tons of porn, tons of vibrators and stuff and she never wants to stop banging. He said that sex was almost non-existent with his ex-wife and that's one thing that's much better now.
Danny said that his kids are doing good and sometimes he even introduces his girlfriend as his oldest kid since she's so young.
Howard was going to let Danny go but he heard from Gary that they had this guy that Danny fought on the phone. Howard picked up and talked to this guy Justice who works at 96.5 down in Philly. The DJ said that he beat Danny but Danny said that they all said that he won unanimously. Howard asked Justice why he thinks that he won if the judges are saying Danny won. Justice said that the fight had to have been rigged and that's why he thinks that they gave it to Danny.
Danny told Justice that he doesn't know how to fight and that's why he lost. Justice told Howard that they got a call from the ref who said that he thinks that Danny lost. Danny said he got a call saying that they thought he won.
Howard asked Justice if they're black there. He said they're not but Danny said that they do try because they do a hip-hop like show. Howard said it sounds like all of the judges agree that Danny won so he should just accept it and move on. He said that saying that it's rigged or fixed isn't right. Robin said that it is true that they sometimes do give the fight to the guy with the bigger name if it's very close. Justice said that the fight wasn't put on by his station even though Danny said it was.
Justice told Howard he'd like him to watch the fight himself and let him know what he thinks. He said they can see it at BeatingBonaduce.com http://www.beatingbonaduce.com/. Howard told Justice that if he wants to have a rematch, he should be able to find a sponsor to pay for it. Justice said he'd fight Danny at any time. Danny said he'd do it too but he has to bring $50,000. One of Justice's co-hosts said that he was quoted as saying $30,000. Danny agreed to do it for that amount. Howard told Justice that if he loses to Danny, he has to come on the show and get tea-bagged by Danny. He took that offer.
Danny said he loves Howard and he wants to fire his agent and hire him to do all of this stuff for him. Howard asked Danny to tattoo his name on his ass as a thank you to him. Danny said no problem. He wrapped up with Danny a short time later and let Justice go a short time later. You can find out more about their show at Wired965.com http://wired965.com/
Howard and the guys talked about Danny and Adam Carolla's show falling apart. Howard said he talked to Adam about this off the air and he told him what was going on at the time. He and the guys spent a minute talking about that but Howard had to move on to other things after he took a break.
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Philly Morning Man Chris Booker Calls In. 01/22/08. 8:05am
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After the break we heard a prank call that Sal made to a German restaurant having them translate some stuff for him. Howard came back a short time later and talked about what a nut job Katie Holmes is. He said that she was doing an interview somewhere and she said that their baby, Suri, is a ''very strong woman.'' He said he was reading about her movie that just came out and the critics are saying that it's bad mainly because of her.
Howard said that he got a note from Jimmy Kimmel over the weekend where he quoted Ronnie the Limo Driver as ''Scoresman'' saying that the only thing that matters is getting drunk, having fun, meeting girls and meeting guys... and anyone who doesn't like it can go fuck themselves. that led to Fred playing some of those audio clips of Ronnie saying that stuff.
Howard played a clip from a news report where the anchor says ''shitter'' live on the air. She was trying to say ''ship'' but slipped and said ''shitters.''
Howard said he had Chris Booker on the phone who wanted to talk about this guy Justice because he heard he was trashing him. Booker didn't hear the show himself. Howard told him that Justice said he beats Booker in the ratings but Booker said that they keep going back and forth and no one is leading consistently out there. He said that he's not even sure what number they are. They go from 2nd to 12th from week to week so he's not sure where they stand.
Booker said that they probably beat the other station more than they beat them. He said they play basically the same music. Howard asked Booker if he's coming back to New York to do radio. Booker said he's got a year and a half left down there so he's not leaving.
Howard asked Booker if he got his message. Booker said he did but he figured that he didn't want to hear back from him so he didn't call back. Howard asked him if he wanted to comment on the news story he was part of recently. Booker said he's not ready to talk yet but he will be the first one he calls when he is ready. He let him go a short time later.
Robin said that she hasn't seen Booker in a long time. Howard explained the incident that happened with Booker's girlfriend and how she lost her job on a Philly TV station because of it. Howard said that Booker claims that it was overblown and she didn't go as far as it said in the paper.
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More Howard's Birthday Dinner Discussions. 01/22/08. 8:15am
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Howard brought up his birthday dinner again and said that he thinks that Fred may have been upset by that. Robin said that she was talking to Fred about that during the break and she just figured that it was going to be too many people if they had even more people there. She said that she wished that she could have had Fred and Gary there but then it was going to be something too big. She just wanted a nice little dinner.
Fred said that it was a nice ''little'' dinner because he wasn't there. Robin said that Gary wasn't there either. Artie said that was an oversight too and a lot of people are talking about that. Robin said that Jim was the one who suggested inviting Artie but she figured that he was going to be more comfortable at dinner if Artie was there because they are close friends.
Robin said she wanted everyone to be comfortable and that's why she did things the way she did. She asked Fred if he wanted to go out to dinner with her. Fred didn't answer. Robin said that she asked Artie if he was going to be bringing a date along to dinner that night and he didn't let her know until just hours before they were supposed to go. She said she asked her weeks before that night if he was bringing a date or not and he couldn't answer until the last minute.
Fred asked if the food was good. Howard told him that it was great and he really missed out. Fred said that he was over in London one time and had some great French food over there. Howard told him to try going to this place Cru and Fred pointed out that they were the first three letters of Cruel.
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Bobby Fischer Discussions. 01/22/08. 8:20am
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Howard said that he read about Bobby Fischer dying over the weekend. He said that he'd heard that the guy was a miserable guy. He said he doesn't profess to know chess all that much himself. He said that Bobby was an artist because he was such a great player. He said that he doesn't think that there is any debate about who the best was and he was the one.
Howard said that Bobby was so great that he ended up writing the book on how to play. That's why he was so important to the game. He said that he would play openings that were really amazing. He said he had tactics upon tactics that were just brilliant.
Howard said that Bobby Fischer was an American and going up against the Russians was a big thing. They teach chess over in Russia and it's a very big thing over there. He said they're all raised to know the game over there. He said that this brought a lot of attention to the game in this country and around the world.
Howard talked about how he elevated the game to a new level when he'd wear a suit to the matches. He said that he was an amazing player but he was going to talk about why he wasn't such a great man. He talked about how he once refused to shake hands with another player in a big match and that ended up being a forfeit. He said that the guy turned into a real scumbag. He said that the guy had a lot of hate built up in him and he thinks that he may have been mentally ill eventually. He said he had the world by the balls but things just went downhill for him.
Howard said that Fischer was Jewish and he hated the Jews. He joked that Fischer hated the Jews so much that Hitler told him he might want to cool it down a bit. He said that Fischer eventually turned on America and he was for the 9/11 attacks. He spent a few minutes explaining all of that before he played an audio clip of the guy bad mouthing the United State. He said that he hopes that he rots in hell and gave him a good riddance.
He played the clip where Bobby was saying he was glad to see the 9/11 attacks and said ''fuck the U.S.!'' He was also going off on the country for some of the stuff they've done and how he's hoping for a totally new world. He had some ''death to the United States'' and said that they made up the whole holocaust thing and it was wonderful news.
Howard jokingly said that Mel Gibson's father even said that this guy was out of line. He said that this guy was out of his mind and he's glad that he's gone now. He said that guy is the worst self loathing and self hating Jew that there is out there.
Artie said that there was a sportscaster out there by the name of Dick Shapp who used to have it out with Bobby Fischer. He said that Shapp's son eventually had a discussion with him about all of that and it's very interesting to see. Howard said that it's time to say ''rot in hell Bobby Fischer'' and just move on.
Howard took some phone calls about the guy. One guy remembered how interesting it was to watch him play and beat the Russians. Howard said that the guy was so good that he didn't want TV cameras to watch over him. He actually lost a game and blamed the cameras for that. He said that he ended up going to play in a back room after that and ended up losing to him in the back room where he was able to concentrate.
The caller said that there are a bunch of chess parlors in Greenwich Village because of those games. He said it inspired a lot of people to play.
Another caller asked Howard why he cares if people talk Anti-Semitic if he's not into organized religion. Howard said he's not against religion if they're comforted by that stuff. He said he doesn't like to see people getting beat up over their religious beliefs, he doesn't believe that's right. He said that the Jews had nowhere to go in World War II and they were even turned away from this country. He said he feels for these people and he doesn't like to see anyone suffer like that.
Gary came in with a story that Jason had pulled for him from the news. In this article they talk about how they thought that he might be mentally ill but they didn't want to send him to the shrink because they were afraid that he'd lose his chess abilities.
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Gary Reveals His Decision On Braces. 01/22/08. 8:35am
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Howard moved on to Gary's braces and wanted to find out what his final decision is after going to the orthodontist on Friday. Gary explained why he was going to the guy and how it came up when the doctor told his wife how he could benefit from braces. He went there on Friday and the doctor looked at his teeth for about 3 minutes. The doctor told him that he doesn't think he'd benefit from braces. He said that the teeth kind of fit his face and there's not much that would change if they gave him braces.
Howard said that he thinks that Gary is like Mt. Everest to a dentist so that's why the guy wanted to check him out. He said that this is like those mountain climbers who turn back and decide they can't do it.
Gary said he wanted to make a point here. He said that if the guy said that he could benefit from it, he probably would have done it. He wouldn't have backed out. He knows that there are going to be fans who say that he backed out but that's not the case.
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No Vegas Shows Coming Soon. 01/22/08. 8:40am
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Howard took a call from a woman who asked him what quality it is that Beth sees in him. Howard said she'd have to ask Beth, he's not sure. She also asked Howard if they're going to do another show in Vegas. Howard said he's not sure, he doesn't think that they have the money to do that. He said that those Vegas shows weren't really their best shows and he gets very grumpy when they go out there. He doesn't have all of his sound effects and stuff when they go either so it's not a lot of fun for them.
Robin said that there are always some bad things that happen out there. She reminded Howard about some of the stuff that they've done out there and he started to come around. Artie was reported dead out there when they were there one year. Artie said that happened again over the weekend when someone reported him dead on Wikipedia.
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Author Mark Rudolph Talks About David Spade And Jillian Grace. 01/22/08. 8:45am
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Howard said that he has this guy on the phone who wants to talk about the David Spade thing. He said that his name is Mark Rudolph. He got Mark on the phone and told everyone about what was going on with David Spade and Jillian Grace. The rumor is that Spade may have knocked her up but nothing has been proven yet.
Mark said that Jillian put something on her web site about David knocking her up and she hadn't even had a DNA test done yet. He said he wanted to call her Jillian Dis-grace because of that. He went on to say that there's an episode of Boston Legal where they have a woman who uses a used condom to get herself pregnant so she can collect money from a man. Howard said that he always flushes his down the toilet.
Mark went on to say that the woman has full control over the reproductive system and she can put an end to it if she wants. He said that this is like a type of extortion when a woman keeps the baby if the father doesn't want it.
Mark said that you should always ask a woman what kind of birth control she uses and what she's willing to do if she does get pregnant. He said that you have to figure out if she's lying or not about this stuff. If she's not willing to get rid of a baby if she gets pregnant, you should get the hell out of there.
Howard said that if the woman is willing to keep the kid, when the father doesn't want it, she should be responsible for paying for it. Mark said that a woman won't get pregnant if she doesn't want to be pregnant and it's like maternity fraud when they keep it and go after someone for money.
Dominic Barbara called in and said that Mark is not right in all of this. He said that the baby didn't choose to come into this world and shouldn't suffer because of that. He said that it was unfair of Howard saying that women get plenty of child support. Dominic and Mark were arguing about the statistics about what men pay to these women who get child support.
Mark told Dominic that he didn't know what he was talking about. The two of them were arguing about all of this stuff and Dominic asked Mark what he does for a living. Mark said he's an author and you can find out more about him at TheNoNonsenseMan.com http://www.thenononsenseman.com/. Dominic told him that he doesn't know what he's talking about. They were going back and forth about babies that are born out of wedlock and Mark said that it's 40 percent but Dominic said that's not the case.
Howard took some calls and let some people comment on all of this. That led to Mark talking about how there are a lot of guys from New York and New Jersey being the type who are willing to cough up money to these women who get pregnant. Mark said that he treats a woman like a peer and he'll only pay for dinner if he asks the woman out. He'll usually go Dutch with a woman if he doesn't ask her out.
Howard took another call from a woman who said that she's an asshole expert and said that this guy is an asshole. She asked mark why he thinks that he's such an expert in all of this stuff. Mark was saying that when a woman decides to keep a child, it effects a lot of people, not just her. He said that the woman is responsible for all of this stuff because she's the one who is going to have the baby. Fred said that kind of falls apart at some point though because a man has to take more responsibility so that pregnancy doesn't happen in the first place.
Robin asked Mark who burned him and why he's so angry. Mark said that this has nothing to do with him, he gets a lot of mail from all over the world about this kind of stuff.
Howard said that if Jillian Grace offered to give him one night, he'd probably have to take that chance. He said that David and Jillian are going to have to work this out on their own. Robin said that one of the risks of having sex is the chance of pregnancy so that's what people have to realize. Howard said that Jillian could have gotten rid of the baby if she wanted to though. Robin said they don't know that at all, they don't know how that would effect her body. Howard let Mark go a short time later.
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Nick Wants To Be Robin's Backup Boyfriend. 01/22/08. 9:00am
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Howard had the guys bring in this guy who wants a date with Robin. He sent in a picture of himself so Robin could check him out and she told him to come down. Howard asked Nick how old he was and if he was still as buff as he was in the pictures. He said that he was still in shape and took off his shirt to show her. Robin said that he is in shape and giggled a little bit.
Nick told Robin that he knows that she's involved right now but he'd like to be her backup boyfriend. He said that if something happens to Jim, he'd like to be there for her. Howard said that he must get a lot of chicks being a good looking guy. He said he's been there but he is very picky about his women.
Howard said that Nick has sent in letters for Robin before and he was a fan of her's even when she was heavier. Nick said that he sings the song parodies that they play about her and he even jerks off thinking about her. He said that he sells luxury cars for a living but he didn't want to say where he works because he didn't want to get fired today. He said he's making good money and getting close to six figures now.
Howard asked Robin how Nick looks. Robin said that Nick is okay looking. She didn't seem all that interested in this guy. Robin said that she's kind of into this relationship with Jim and she's not dating anyone else at this point. Howard wanted to know if that's because she's in love. Robin just laughed. He said that he did notice that she and Jim were holding hands at dinner the other night. Robin just laughs whenever they ask her about that stuff.
Howard asked Nick how tall he is. He claimed to be 5'8'' tall but the guys said that they think that he's only 5'6'' or so. Howard asked Nick to talk to Robin a little bit and try to pick her up. He told her that he came down there to see if she was as pretty in person as she is on TV. He said that she is and he was there because he's attracted to her physically and he likes her personality.
Howard let Nick talk to Robin for a short time but he really didn't seem to have a lot to say. Robin asked him about his tattoos and what they were about. He said that it was a lame excuse to make him look kind of cool to chicks. Howard said it sounds like Robin is giving him the big kiss off. Robin said that he seems like a nice guy but she doesn't want to date him. She told Howard to hold on to his phone number, just in case.
Fred played one of the song parodies that Nick likes to sing to himself when he's thinking about Robin. Fred also did his Jim impression and asked Nick if he was willing to give up farting for 6 months because he can't do that in front of her. Nick said he could do that.
Howard told Nick that he could see that this wasn't really working out very well. He told Nick that this Jim and Robin thing seems to be working right now. He said that he didn't actually witness the hand holding himself, it was Beth who saw it and reported it back to him. Robin said she knew it and she'll have to have a discussion with Beth now that she's heard that.
Howard said that Nick has made an impression with Robin this morning. He said he is going to keep his number on file and they will call him as soon as things go wrong with Robin and Jim. Robin said that she doesn't just go out with people just because they're good looking. Robin said that if there were different circumstances, maybe she would go out with him.
Howard took some phone calls and one guy wondered if Jim got any pepper on his salad at dinner. Howard said that there were no signs of Jim Florentine at that dinner. He behaved himself the whole time. Artie said that he wasn't like himself and it was the first time he's gone out with him and he didn't burp the whole menu.
The caller that Howard had on the line told the guys that Richard really doesn't represent the Mid-West states like they think he does. He said that not everyone behaves the way Richard does.
Fred did his Jim Florentine impression a little more and goofed around with Robin a little bit. Robin said that Fred's name came up at dinner and they did talk about him a little bit. She wondered if he wanted to know what they said about him. Fred didn't seem to care either way.
Howard took another call and the guy brought up the child support thing that they were discussing earlier. The guy said that he was going through a divorce when he found out that his 4 year old son was the product of an affair. He said that he's still responsible for the kid even though he's not the biological father. He said that it's bullshit and there are no laws that say that the other guy is responsible. Howard said there should be a lawsuit there for fraud. The guy said he did sue to get out of the alimony based on fraud but he ended up going to jail for 15 days for refusing to pay. Robin said she was embarrassed to be a woman based on that story.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and asked Robin why she doesn't just admit that she's dating Jim because she's in love with him. She said that she is dating him exclusively. Howard said that he thinks that Robin and Jim went home and had sex that night that they went out to dinner. He also thinks that she's so turned on by Jim that she doesn't need any lube. Robin said that there is no lube needed because there is no sex. Fred did his Jim impression a little more but Howard had to wrap up and go to break a short time later.
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Is Ivy Trying To Get Benjy Killed? 01/22/08. 9:35am
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After the break we heard a prank call that Sal made to a pizza place pretending to call from the train station with trains going by. Fred also played a cover of Pink Floyd's ''Have a Cigar'' as they were coming out of break.
Howard asked Benjy if he and Ivy Supersonic are still going out Benjy said that they kind of are. Howard said that Ivy is going to get Benjy killed because she's been going around saying that he wants to fight Chuck Zito. He said that she called into Chuck's show and he was going to play that but he played a quick clip from the Wrap Up Show where she said that Benjy did want to fight Chuck. ON that show Ivy claimed that Benjy did say that he wanted to fight him. She said that Benjy claimed that he could knock Zito out. Benjy denied every saying that though.
Howard said that no one wants to fight Chuck Zito. He told Benjy that he has to be more vocal about this and tell Ivy that she's setting him up to be on bad terms with that guy. Howard told him that he doesn't even want to be in Chuck's mind at all with stuff like that.
Howard played a clip from Chuck's show where Ivy called in and Chuck told her that he's pretty pissed off at her. Chuck said that no one speaks for him but him and telling Howard that bullshit story is just wrong. Ivy told Chuck that Benjy did say that he would fight him. Chuck said that Benjy is letting his little head speak instead of his big head. He said that he would give Benjy brain damage if he fought him. He told Ivy that she went over the bounds telling Howard that he was going to fight. He said he doesn't care about the money either, he doesn't want a circus act. He told her not to speak about him on Howard's show again. She said ''you got it...'' Chuck said that fighting Benjy would be no different than fighting Eric the Midget in his mind.
Howard told Benjy to shut this down now and tell Chuck that he doesn't want to fight him Benjy said that he doesn't want to and he never did. Howard told Benjy to go home and tell Ivy to never bring up his name with chuck's name again. Artie told him that pussy will get a guy killed.
Ronnie the Limo Driver called in and told Benjy that he told him about this last week and he knew that it was going to get him into trouble. He told him that Chuck takes this shit seriously and he doesn't want anyone messing with him. Benjy doesn't think that what she did was right and he agrees with Ronnie.
Benjy said that he's still seeing Ivy once in a while. Robin said that she gets e-mails from her every time that she does see him. She said that she also has video of Benjy rubbing her breasts http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKkFXXIxVwE that Ivy sent to her.
Howard told Benjy that he's going to get Chuck on the show tomorrow and explain what happened here. He said that he has to tell Chuck that he's so effeminate that he can't control his woman. That led to Artie doing a scene from The Godfather where Fredo is told that he should never have to apologize about a woman. Howard told Benjy that he's got to tell Chuck that he respects him very much and he doesn't know how this occurred. Benjy said that he's sorry that this happened at all and he really didn't know what was going on.
Ronnie told Benjy to put this to sleep as soon as he can, he doesn't want to drag it out and make Chuck mad. Howard said that he'd like to have Benjy do a sit-down with Chuck but he'd have to treat it like a serious thing and not fuck it up. He told Benjy that he obviously can't handle his women.
Benjy said that Ivy is just his friend, they're not a couple. Robin said that Ivy thinks that they are a couple from what she can tell.
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A Fan Buys Howard's Parents Dinner At A Diner. 01/22/08. 9:50am
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A caller told Howard that he was out at a diner the other night and he heard voices that sounded very familiar. He said that he turned around and saw Howard's parents at the diner and it was ironic because he heard the whole bit where Howard told the story about taking them out to dinner. He said that he heard his father and mother arguing about the halibut there at the diner. Howard said they did tell him that they were out at a diner over the weekend. His mother told him that she got a free dinner at the place. He said they got the check without them knowing.
Howard said his father heard about that and went over and thanked the guy for the meal. Howard thanked the guy for doing that for them. He said that he wasn't going to bring up the cost of the meal but Howard brought it up. He told Howard to guess how much it was. Howard told him to just say how much it was, he was getting nervous with him. It turned out to be 25 bucks and change.
Scott said that he heard a lot of their discussion about what they were going to order, just like Howard has described on many occasions. That led to Howard doing his impression of his parents for a few seconds. The guy said that his parents were very nice. Howard thanked him for that and moved on.
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Howard 100 News And Wrap Up Show Previews. 01/22/08. 9:55am
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Howard had Steve Langford come in with his Howard 100 News preview. Steve said that they're going to be talking about Jackie the Joke Man and how he's been emailing everyone about what's going on with him and Fred. Jackie has apparently stopped e-mailing some people over that whole controversy. Steve said they also have a story about the woman who had the threatening voice mails from High Pitch Eric on her phone. She claims that he asked her for a ride home the day that she dropped the charges against him.
Steve said that Bubba the Love Sponge claims he's got a reality show in the works. He said that they also have a story about how Nodoro was allegedly found in Simon Cowell's home. They have a bunch of other stories coming up today as well.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview. He said they'll be talking about Robin's special birthday dinner and how she forgot to invite some of her close friends and co-workers. Jon said they'll also be talking about Gary's decision not to get braces. That led to Howard goofing on Gary doing an impression of him with a pen stuck in his mouth.
Jon said that they'll also be talking about Howard's rant against Bobby Fischer. That got Howard back on that subject so Howard talked about that a little more and played some more clips of him going off on Jeremy Shapp. The guys spent a few more minutes talking about what a prick the guy seemed to be.
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Artie's 7 Double Cheeseburger Weekend. 01/22/08. 10:05am
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Howard was going to have Robin get into her news after Fred played one of her news theme songs, ''Robin's Tits Are Fat.'' Howard read a few e-mails from some fans who are pissed that her cell phone is on all the time. Robin got a laugh from that and said that they don't realize that it's Fred playing the audio clip of the phone ringing. Howard read some feedback about Jon Hein's fast food restaurant rant that he had last week.
Artie said that he had 7 double cheeseburgers at Burger King over the weekend. He said that he had some fries too but no shake, just a giant Coke. He said he was driving up to Syracuse to do a gig and that's what he was eating on his way up there. He said that they had to leave around noon to go up there and he hadn't eaten yet so he had to stop.
Artie said that he had to stop because he was starving. He said he had two double cheeseburgers, fries and a coke, then he went to Dunkin Donuts and got some donuts and coffee. Then they got to the hotel that they were staying at. They were staying in a casino and he went up to his room and took a shit while he was trying to rest. He said he leaned over to wipe himself and he cracked the toilet. He said the crack went down the whole seat so it would pinch him every time he sat down.
Artie said that he had 3 double cheeseburgers on the trip home from Syracuse. He said that was a total of 5. Then he was on his way home from watching the Giants game and he and his buddy stopped at Burger King again and he had two more. He did the shake that time, no Coke. Artie said that the stuff he eats
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